Every year through my childhood it was the same. As Christmas got closer, cards multiplied on ribbons down the walls and increased to cover every available shelf and surface. They were pre-internet times and my mum was a prolific Christmas card and “family newsletter” writer. It was her way of keeping in touch with pretty much everyone she’d ever met. The packaged highlights of our family’s year would be folded into each snowy card and despatched around the world. In return we’d hear about families I’d never met from Colorado to Delhi, Sevenoaks to South Africa.
It's strange to think of it now. Today, those cards have shrunk to a handful. Mum still keeps in touch with everyone, but it's electronically and not just at Christmas. The cards she sends have become e-cards. The same snowy scenes, robins and churches now animated to music. How time and technology changes things.
The cards weren't mentioned when I recorded her life story video recently. When you know someone well it's a challenge to decide where to start. She’s in her 80s and there are decades of interesting stories we could have featured. But that’s okay. We’ve made a start. Now I know if anything happens, I have a record of her in her favourite chair, relaxed and chatting. It almost doesn’t matter what she’s saying. I will always be able to hear her voice and watch her think, move and laugh.
That is what I missed most when Bill died. I have next to nothing of my late husband on film. We expected to have decades more time together and I was focused on recording our son growing up, not the man who stood next to me throughout. Instead, I have to rely on my fickle memory to recall his wry shrug and cheeky grin. It's my biggest regret.
With Mum, I am recording the stories to pass down generations, but that is secondary to my personal need for a video memory. So far, we’ve covered her young adult life. Just a few chapters, but each has brought up some detail or insight I knew nothing about. A treasure trove of information. Things about my Dad too, whom I never got to interview. He died more than 20 years ago.
I know whatever she tells me is just a fraction. A supremely edited version. Like memory is. But those stories are so vibrant and alive, because it's her truth and she is telling them. I know she did it for me. She wasn’t massively keen, unhappy with the way she speaks “too fast”. But that is her and that’s what makes it special. I hope we’ll do the next instalment soon.
In the meantime, I will treasure what I have and enjoy some new Christmas memories with my son in the heat of the Australian summer. Mum and the rest of the family will have theirs too, wrapped up by the fire on the other side of the world.
If Christmas is something you celebrate, have a look around you on the day and think about who is important to you. Is there someone whose story you’d love to record? If so, make a start. Get the phone out. Ask a question or two, show that you’re interested. It might spark something bigger down the track. And if not, its still a precious record.
If it gets you thinking and you want a hand getting someone’s life story recorded. I am always happy to help. Please get in touch by filling in the form on https://www.reelifestories.au, or emailing me on info@jackiewarren.com.au
(Just not on Christmas Day!).
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Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone.
Jackie , taking after her mum - a prolific , respected writer .
Paul V